Let’s understand one thing – before you ask her out, you’ve got to meet and talk with her.  If you can’t do that, you’re not going to be able to ask her out – and then how can you have a good date with her?  That’s why it’s absolutely crucial that you overcome your approach anxiety.

Some people think that approach anxiety can’t actually be overcome.  Some people think that approach anxiety is hardwired into our genetic makeup.  Others insist that approach anxiety actually can be overcome.

These are a couple of approaches that men have found useful in overcoming approach anxiety:

The 3-second Rule

This is a pretty straightforward idea.  It’s easy to understand: many men will spot a woman they’d like to meet, and then spend half the night wondering whether to approach her, and how.  But it’s obvious that the more time spent thinking about it, the less likely that any meeting will take place!  The anxiety needs time to build up enough to stop you – so don’t give it that time!  Within 3 seconds of seeing a woman you want to meet, approach her.  To be effective, you’ve got to commit to doing this all the time.  Don’t waste time or opportunities thinking up exceptions or excuses, though, or you won’t have any time left for meeting wonderful women!  Now, there are going to be circumstances when it really won’t make sense to follow the 3-second rule, for example she’s sitting in a restaurant booth with romantic lighting with a boyfriend or husband.  But if you’re in a club, at the beach, in the park, in a grocery store, or nearly any other situation where you can talk out loud, go for it!

Cold Cash Can Defeat Approach Anxiety

A wingman is necessary to this approach, but it’s remarkably successful.  Sometimes, no money is needed – just having a friend there watching is sufficient, if you’re concerned about shaming yourself in front of your buddy.

But if you need greater motivation, try this: give your wingman $100 in cash  You get the money back – in chunks of $10 or $20, every time you approach a woman and actually talk with her.  You have to talk beforehand to determine how much he gives you back each time, and if you get more for a longer talk.  The motivation here is simple: not meeting women can be costly!

Of course, in the final analyses, these are just patches, temporary fixes for a problem.  Using these approaches doesn’t end approach anxiety, it just helps overcome it for the night.  To permanently remove approach anxiety from your makeup, you’re going to have to put some time and effort into determining its root cause and dealing with that.

Despite the claims of those who claim that approach anxiety is hereditary, I think that it’s a learned response.

When you consider it from an truly analytical perspective, it’s reasonable to conclude that the problem underlying approach anxiety is shame.

It’s shame that you’re feeling when you’re experiencing approach anxiety. Perhaps there are elements of your own makeup, like your sexuality, that you’re not really comfortable with, or perhaps you don’t feel deserving of having such an exciting woman in your life.  At this point, it’s all guesswork.  Everyone’s situation is unique, and I don’t want to paint everyone with a broad brush.

If you enjoyed this article and you’re ready to conquer approach anxiety and start meeting women, check out overcoming approach anxiety and Authentic Man Program.